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Saturday, January 22, 2005
depression.. depression.. depression..
y do i have to be lonely n bored n rotting at home all at inappropriate times?? when the whole world seems to be busy.. all i needed is someone whom i can tok to and ask qns abt test n stuff.. but y issit tt everyone seems too occupied wif them own stuff n i just cant get myself to concentrate on revising for that bloody subject?? this is atrocious.. guess i'm goin crazy..
i realised i realli am stressed these days.. wif pressure towering above my head.. to a certain extend tt i cant breathe.. it's like.. halfway thru revising.. the tot of graduating rush into my mind.. n i'm in fact.. afraid.. terribly afraid.. i dunno wad i can be in future.. i noe i needed a job.. but wad can i b? n time's passing so fast.. n wad i always tot as a faraway future when i was a kid will b coming right before me in a couple of mths time.. b there's the tot of my parents getting old.. the tot of hj leaving for NS.. the tot tt i may never b able to c my dear frens animore.. the tot that everything's gonna be very different from wad it is from now.. .. ..
i just cant help but feel sad.. to make things worse.. i've been left alone at home too often these days.. i am seriously in need of comfort and support.. yet.. no one seems to be free enough to at least have a little chat wif me.. dun ask me abt hj.. he has his family members to attend to as well.. n i certainly cant be so selfish to expect him to be there for me 24/7.. not onli tt.. i noticed tt my rate of depression seems to be on the rising trend.. i dunno wad's goin on.. n for tt.. i'm scared..
depression can kill.. who noes? i may b the next one to slit my wrist..
was i possessed or sth?? i dun feel rite...
no.. couldnt be.. i shdnt be so superstitious.. it must be the psychological stuff within me.. it MUST BE.. one minute i feel like talking to someone but the other minute.. i'll feel another way.. i'm in a total mess..
if onli i can make wishes..
I wish I wish I wish..
that i can b back to the good old days when i was just an innocent gal.. n may time freeze at tt moment forever..
that i can be away from all the scheming ppl out there..
that i can stay wif the ones who truely cares for me.. n may the best be wif them..
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> . . . <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
the things that i "played" wif when i'm bored n lonely..
1st on the list..
my tamagotchi..
2nd....
my com..
n finally.. last but not least.. the thing tt i loathe the most.. throughout my entire life..
books n notes...!
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