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Monday, December 06, 2004
wishin tt i never exist
new sem.. n the final sem.. new home soon.. n perhaps.. a new start to my future.. shouldnt i be happy? but no.. i wasnt at all.. been striked by countless unhappiness recently.. i guess i'm collapsing..
unreasonable parents not being able to understand wad i have to go through.. traumatizing me to great extents.. imgine being questioned to use the com for project purposes.. y cant they have more trust in me?? y?? have i not done enough to gain their trust?? do u tink i have a choice but to be ur child??
my fishes will b taken to the ocean realli soon.. yet dad stop feedin them n changin the water like a week agao.. causin one of them to have infections in the eye.. an extremely pathetic scene.. they were hungry.. i could almost hear them pleading for me to just end their lives for gd.. i cried as my heart went out for them.. they do not have a choice but to be in tt situation.. just like i am..
some1 jokinly commented tt i shd just jump off one of the bulidings.. it may be like u r joking.. but i was hurt.. realli hurt.. n to tink tt u cant sense tt.. n funny y felix could sense tt i wasnt myself though i tried my v best to put on my usual happy front.. somehow.. he was able to sense tt i wasnt happy at all while others cant.. wad a thoughtful guy.. intereting
ever tried staring down frm the 10th storey wif an intention to jump?? well.. i did.. just perhaps an hr or 2 ago.. i'm serious.. yet i couldnt bring myself to do it.. i'm sure i'll regret it.. i mean.. y shd i?? when i have a bright future??
n thus.. u still get to c this posting over here.. dun worry ppl.. i shd be able to get over this realli soon.. or at least so.. i certainly hope..
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