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Tuesday, October 19, 2004
thoughts..
haven been staying at home for 1 whole day for long le.. hmm.. feels like blogging but wad shd i tok abt leh? hmm.. perhaps pening down some of my thoughts will be good..
out of the blue.. i had this feelin tt i tink too much at times.. too much to my own disadvantage.. givin a lot of prob to ppl ard me.. felt so terribly sorry.. some times i realli tot i was the lousiest person in this world n yet there r still so many of u ard me showering me though not wif $$ but wif much care, love and concern.. ppl like my hj, my frens and family.. yet.. due to my occasional emotion breakdown.. i had to vent my anger on u.. picking up a fight on whoever i could get hold of.. terrible character of mine isnt it?
i dun understand myself at times.. n never ask me wad i wan.. for i myself.. has got no idea as to wad i wan.. for when i'm in a goody mood.. u can be nasty to me n yet i can still take it.. but if i'm in a foul mood.. den nth can soothe me.. n i do hate myself for tt.. sometimes even hopin tt i could just climb up the tallest building in spore n plunge down.. saving myself n all ppl out there frm torment..
yet.. whenever things go wrong.. ppl still always tend to spare a thought for me 1st rather den caring for my poor victim.. perhaps they noe the fact tt i cant control my emotions at times.. as much as i wanted to show concern.. the more i'll go wrong wrong wrong.. here's a secret for all of u abt me.. i will never apologise to anyone even if i was in the wrong if i dun care/like/love tt person.. so if i did.. meanin u do have a special place in my heart.. ok? haha.. remembering the good old days in sec sch.. peishan.. if i was not wrong.. was the 1st fren i ever apologised to and gave in 1st when we were having some sort of cold war between us.. cos i realli appreciate her n noe she's a fren never too be missed.. thx gal..
alright.. enough abt my tots.. haha.. back to reality.. aniwae.. went out wif my dear ytd to look for felix's prezzie but couldnt find anything suitable.. ended up wif me buying karaoke vcds.. n dear buyin his games.. counterstrike condition zero.. was fun frm wad i heard frm him.. while i had a great karaoke session this afternoon.. followed by some manicure session.. life's wonderful!! just dun tink too much n lead life to its fullest!! =D
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